Your own identity as an adult is built upon who you were taught you were as a child. How do you rewrite your life to build a new adult self?
How we see ourselves as adults, is based squarely on who we were taught we were as children. If our parents/caretakers/role models taught us that we were a valued gift, a total delight and worth everything, then there is a good chance that this is how we see ourselves. If our parents/caretakers/role models taught us that we were worth something ONLY if we met certain criteria, or we pleased them, or we achieved some measure set by them, then there is a good chance that we will never measure up to what we expect of ourselves, or we may become rebellious and defy anyone who attempts to help. If our parents/caretakers/role models barely saw us, had no time for us, considered us nothing more than a bothersome nuisance, there is a good chance we won’t even try to achieve – or we’ll try too hard and burn out.

If our basic understanding of the world was that this is a fairly good and comfortable place to be, then no matter what life hurls at us, somewhere deep inside we will find solid rock upon which we can rely. If, however, our early years engrained in us the belief that this is not a good and comfortable place to be, then when life hurls thunderbolts at us, we will find that our whole reality is built on shifting sands and we may become unbalanced very quickly.

Our ability to cope depends on inner strength and outer support, and this, in turn, depends on what we see as normal. And ‘normal’ has definite links to childhood.
As we grow from childhood to adulthood, there are particular milestones we need to reach; these are well documented with regard to the child’s physical and social requirements. But they are not as well documented when it comes to their emotional needs. By understanding that a child’s emotional maturity develops in stages linked to age; and if something happens at that age that makes it difficult – for whatever reason – for the child to do this appropriately, then there is a problem that pops up in adulthood.

Of course, as adults, if we understand this, and we go back to rethink the events of childhood, and we complete all the steps that are required of children in the growing up process, then this is not the dark and gloomy picture It seems. There are life stages that have to be completed, and as adults, we can revisit and revise what was done or not done. This may be painful and it may be frightening, but if we want to live a complete and powerful adulthood, this must be done.

Otherwise, we are simply wounded children living in an adult body. We see the world and other people through a veil of pain and confusion and cannot possibly see them as they really are. Unless the wounds of the damaged childhood are healed, and its demands for emotional growth are met, we may find that this aspect of the personality tends to dominate and wreak havoc in our lives.

Many aspects of emotional health and strength depend on a strong beginning. I saw a bumper sticker on a car, saying “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” So true. If necessary you can become your own parent, you can give yourself the gift of your own inner tuition.

RECOMMENDED READING:
HOMECOMING: John Bradshaw
GROWING UP AGAIN: Jean Illsley Clarke

Are you comfortable with the gender you have chosen?
Last week I introduced the concept of how we move energy round the body. I mentioned that the way the energy moves between the four fields that surround us, namely physical reality, emotional balance, mental health, and spiritual understanding, is by using the way chakras spin.

Each chakra spins both clockwise and anti-clockwise; this means energy moves towards the body and away from the body. Literature that is currently available explains that chakras spin in one direction only. I venture to disagree – with respect. Energy does move in two directions – by necessity. As I explain further, please understand this is a HUGE subject and I teach it over 128 hours of tuition time. It is almost impossible to explain in a page or two. I’m going to do my best, but by necessity please be aware that this is a very broad outline. If you need further information, contact me.

However, each chakra has a natural dominant direction of spin, and these are gender-dependant. I don’t mean “male/men” or “female/women”; instead it is masculine and feminine. Every living thing holds both masculine and feminine energy. It bothers me greatly that in this time of “New Age”, there has arisen the idea of working only with feminine energy; raising feminine energy; honouring feminine energy; empowering feminine energy, and so on. This is a perfect recipe for disaster. By doing this, there is an unconscious pattern of thought that then either denies or vilifies masculine energy. We need both for true health and happiness – for balance.
What do I mean by “masculine” and “feminine” energy? Masculine energy is expanding, protecting, being dominant, having compassion, holding strong opinions, being loud, taking responsibility and/or using power. There is a positive and negative aspect to this. Masculine energy is immediate. Taken out of context – we have domination! Feminine energy is enfolding, nurturing, understanding, supporting, responding, being intuitive, adapting, being responsible, using silence and/or absorbing power. Feminine energy is timeless. Taken out of context – we have manipulation.

FOR EXAMPLE: Each chakra has a particular personality, and they are repeated in each of the energy fields. For example: heart energy in the physical body = heart health; in the emotional field = love/tolerance; in the mental field = emotional maturity; in the spiritual field = acceptance. The direction of the flow of ”masculine dominant” energy is different to the direction of the flow of “feminine dominant” energy, but each needs the other for balance. Denying one and/or focusing on the other will lead, with depressing certainty, to ill health and unhappiness.

Just so I am absolutely clear: men and gay women have a masculine dominant energy flow, and woman and gay men have a feminine dominant energy flow. (But don’t forget that everyone has energy that flows in both directions as we all have both masculine and feminine energy)

Each chakra has a particular dominant direction of spin, and this direction changes as required, moment by moment, depending on what you’re doing and how you respond, but at rest it will always revert to its natural direction of spin. If you need to protect yourself or be powerful, you expand your energy field = masculine spin. If you need to be aware, you need contract it so you can read your Sanscarra* = feminine spin. Those who deny themselves the truth of this direction, therefore their natural selection of gender, will fail to find inner peace and contentment.
However, it is a depressing reality that for many this is a right they are denied. There are vast numbers of people who are forced by legal, religious and social discrimination fuelled by ignorance, fear, arrogance or, intimidation to deny their own God-Selves.

Each chakra has a particular purpose, strength or sensitivity. Those who have a single direction of spin – those who live according to their body classification – have a prescribed way of seeing things, or responding and reacting. Those who have the courage to embrace spins in both directions – have enhanced abilities. This is why there is so much fear and discrimination.

If this sounds complicated, let me explain:
Masculine dominant energy fields are inclined to be outward thinking, they are responsible, they expect volume and abundance, they see the bigger picture and they instinctively take control. These are the spokespersons, the ones who represent others. These are the people who take great leaps forward.
Feminine dominant energy fields are more inclined to work behind the scenes, they deal with the smaller details, they are intuitive, they fill in less glamorous but vital roles of routine duties and these are the listeners, recorders, carers and the wheels upon which civilisation runs.
I have learned, to my joy, that some older cultures have a name for this: they are called “Two souls” or “flows both ways”. (Big smiley!)

I was working with a client recently, and the role of masculine and feminine energy was explained to me: carpet making requires a woven base (masculine energy), and then the wool, silk, cotton, or whatever the mat is made of, which carries the pattern, colour, depth: value is created (feminine energy). You cannot have one without the other.

If someone uses the “other” energy too often, the chakras become unbalanced. A woman working in a masculine-dominated field needs to consciously make time to be a woman, to nurture herself and to appreciate subtlety. A man spending excessive time working with intuition – being alert to the smallest hint of change – will need to consciously make time to see the bigger picture.

Chakras have hard-working, practical sentient intelligence; burning a red candle or dangling an amethyst crystal has as much effect on them as holding a heart-shaped cardboard cut-out to the chest of someone having a heart attack. Chakras need to be heard because they hold information; they need to be physically balanced and cleaned out; and the natural direction of spin has to be reset. If chakras are not kept in balance, they become blocked and unhealthy and the part of the body that is affected by that chakra becomes compromised.
They need to be respected as co-creators of health…. On all levels of Being. These are the log-books of the body, and if they are checked regularly, you will become adept at maintaining your own health – using your own inner tuition.

(*I explained what the Sanscarra is and how we use it in week #6)

What are the log books of your body? How and when do you read them? Do you understand what they’re teaching you?
If you imagine looking down on a city, at night, you see all the main roads are brightly lit, and the main intersections are very clear with traffic lights, road signs, shops, etc. The lesser roads are less brightly lit, and so on until you get a quiet little road with perhaps only one or two houses, and there is hardly any lighting apart from a light over a front door. So it is with the flow of energy round the body, the main flows of energy are strong and powerful, and the lesser – but by no means insignificant – flows of energy are slower and quieter. But where they cross, there are strong energy vortices, called Chakras

The word “Chakra” is a Sanskrit word meaning “wheel”. It describes what a chakra looks like – a whirling vortex of energy where great lines of force, created within the energy field, meet and cross. They absorb, transform and transmit the flow of energy from one subtle body to another and into the physical body. They allow for input and outflow of energy as they spin both clockwise and anticlockwise. This is why emotional confusion can have a physical effect; mental anguish can cause an emotional response; spiritual dilemmas can affect mental balance; and /or physical perception can influence mental/emotional or even spiritual understanding. The energy flows from one field to the other through the chakras. It depends, of course, through which particular chakra the flow happens as each has its own particular emphasis.

Different levels of consciousness become separated and we find it difficult to integrate these different aspects of ourselves. We no longer feel “whole”. The direction of the in/out spin determines gender, but I’ll look at that that in a week or two. I get irritated when people insist being Gay is wrong – absolute rubbish! Ancient civilisations recognised this state of being, as the goal towards we all ultimately strive. This is being in perfect balance, with masculine and feminine energy in perfect balance.

In the Inner Tuition training course we spend a great deal of the training programme working intensively with chakras. I will write about them over several weeks. This week I’ll look at how they work; in the following few weeks I will look at how and why they establish the gender we choose to experience, and then I’ll look at how they carry the story of spiritual evolution of each person.

When unpleasant or disturbing things happen to us, we try to avoid dealing with the issue in an attempt to minimise the impact upon us. This means we do not fully process and release energies involved. They have to be stored somewhere until, ideally, we get round to doing so – and we store them in the chakras – hence the reason why I call them the log books of the body. Blocks in the chakras and the energy system, generally, are our own responsibility because they are self-induced.

With the advent of “New Age” consciousness a lot of information is available to the general public. Among the most popular aspects offered concerns the significance of the colours of chakras. This is because when light is diffused, it breaks into these particular colours. There has been information passed on from some very popular literature that there are “new” colours for chakras. I respect this information, but I confess that I am a bit dubious. Light is light, it consists of varying lengths of rays. These reflect the seven colours you can see in a rainbow. This is not fashion. On the other hand, there are vast numbers of those who are more spiritually advanced than I am – so they may be correct.

Again, books about chakras describe their location: below the spine and above the head, between the eyebrows, the throat, the heart, above the solar plexus, and below the navel. In addition to these chakras on the torso, there are at least 6 places in the body where strong energy centres/chakras can be accessed: front and back of the body, on the legs, the arms, the feet, the hands, the head and over the entire body. These are present in each of the 4 energy fields. We work with at least 96 chakras, and each has its own particular personality and purpose and holds specific information which is easily accessed.

We are familiar with the largest and most significant chakras, however there are many more than just these. Those that are also greatly significant are those that are on joints – ankles, wrists, elbows, shoulders, knees, hips and the neck. Also on the hands and feet – we use these to communicate and to advance. In fact, every cell in the body is a chakra. In addition each individual person is a chakra, each group of people is a chakra (“Where two or three are gathered together…”), each nation, each landmass, and so it continues. I have no doubt that each planet, sun, star, celestial group is also a chakra.

Because the sites of these energy centres are located roughly in the same areas as the main endocrine systems, it is believed that they have similar functions. This is not accurate. Yes, the places where you find these main chakras are located in places where there is an important accumulation of communication signalling in the body, but the work that is done by the chakras is not always the same. Chakras transmit information about spiritual evolution and survival of mankind as a whole; endocrine systems transmit information for survival of the individual.
This is a big subject and is taught by specialised teachers during the Inner Tuition training course.
Chakras are sentient beings with our consciousness; their function is as significant to your overall wellbeing as your liver, kidneys, heart. You need to learn to communicate with them, they are the log books of your body and hold all the information you need for health on all level.

This is where you learn about yourself – where you access your own Inner Tuition.

How do you calm the babble in your mind that prevents you hearing your own voice of inner tuition? Can you identify your own voice, and/or identify the voices of others?
I was asked by a very wise man: “Why do monkeys chatter?” Suspecting that this was a trick question, I kept very quiet and waited. The answer was, simply, “Because they do”. It’s the same with us. Why do our minds babble? Because they do. The trick is to give that endless voice in our head something to babble about – something that is beneficial. The babbling is inevitable, but the mindlessness of it – isn’t.

So often, when we talk to someone, while we are listening, we are also hearing the crazy dialogue that goes on inside the head. This falls into roughly six categories:
*There may be a running commentary comparing the story you are hearing, to your own – and, naturally, your story is far more exciting, dramatic, interesting, painful or intelligent than the one you’re hearing. You can hardly wait for them to stop talking so you can share your experience.
*Or you know exactly what the other person needs to solve their problem; you can barely wait for them to stop talking so you can instruct them as to what to do.
*Or you feel tremendously threatened by what you’re hearing and, in order to be considered adequate or worthwhile, you desperately search for some way to help – effectively not hearing a word they’re saying.
*Or, of course, this can sometimes be too much, and the internal voice is saying, frantically, “I don’t want to hear this, I don’t understand, this is too much for me” and we simply disconnect and don’t hear.
*Or you are so conscious of focusing and listening intently that you begin to anticipate what you’re going to hear – that you finish their sentences for them, saying what you are thinking instead of what they are saying.
When we listen, what we hear is filtered through our experience of life. When you speak to me, you are speaking through your education, your culture, your belief systems, your childhood, the opinions of friends and family, and your own experience. In turn, I am hearing through pretty much the same filters. So, dear reader, I am willing to guarantee that you are not reading what I am saying – you are hearing your own version of it. And, I assure you, the louder the babble, the louder the fear you carry. This fear can vary from fear of disappointment to fear of success … but it is fear that creates the babble.

In addition to this system of filtering, you have a background cacophony of other people’s voices; other people’s opinions and judgements, other people’s ideas, demands and expectations. You are witnessing other people’s lives. And you are not living your own. And you only have one chance to listen to your life – don’t waste the opportunity by constantly listening to everyone else’s words.

So, if you REALLY want to hear what I’m saying to you, now or whenever, take a moment to identify those filters and those voices, put them to rest … and then you will hear what I’m sharing. Begin to listen from a still place, then you will hear so much more; you will hear between the words, too. And you’ll hear intuitively what is not said. This is a truly powerful place to be

It is quite simple, when you think about it. By listening to your own Inner Tuition, you will be able to hear mine.

Of the many different faces you show the world; which is the authentic one? Why do you spend eternity trying to find it? How will you recognise it?
I gave a talk a few years ago, which I advertised as “Who is the REAL You?” I was extremely surprised and gratified when a whole bunch of people came – then watched in horror as they left early. Although I knew what I wanted to say, it turned out that I didn’t manage to say it. Since then I’ve agonised over that night … what should I have said, where did I go wrong, how should I have presented the information? Ok, I plan to do it right, this time. But I need to make very clear – right up front – these are my own ideas. If you disagree with me, then I celebrate that! IT’S WORKING!

Society, in general, has a great fear of us finding our own Authentic Selves. We are persuaded, from childhood, to be gullible, manipulated, controlled, and managed. Seldom is it deliberate, or malicious, or even wrong. Parents often live their lives through their children (“I want you to have the opportunities that I never had.”), education systems try to make us fit in (“Focus, no time to daydream, don’t use your imagination, learn someone else’s words”), advertising takes our self-esteem and does terrible things with it (“You will only be a successful man/woman/lover/parent if you use this product or service.”), peers push and polish us into meeting their requirements (“Everyone’s wearing this, listening to that, eating/drinking whatever”), religion takes the high ground (“if you don’t believe in ME, you will be condemned to eternal darkness …. And your family will pay a terrible price.”); and sport/politics is in there, somewhere (“if you don’t support us, our lack of success is YOUR FAULT!”) Round and round we go, trying desperately to find a way to uncover who we really are.

Some time ago the spectre of “New Age” burst upon the scene. The same things were said, using different pictures, colours, words and concepts – but the control is the same. Again, please understand that I know that this is not necessarily deliberately manipulative, or harmful, or unkind, or wrong. All these have their place and have, indeed, helped millions of people. But there is an element that feeds on fear, ignorance and emptiness. If you don’t wear the correct colour (translation: “vibration”), you will never be healthy, if you don’t eat this, burn that, buy this particular brand of health product, or dangle whatever in your environment – you will never achieve your life goal. Added to that is some covert “fear of death” pressure … or you may even (are you sitting down?) GET OLDER (gasp!)

So, who is the Authentic You reading this? Let’s have a look at your childhood. That was when you were closest to being truly “Authentic” in this incarnation.
Were you allowed to use your imagination, or were you pushed and encouraged into “improving” yourself? There is nothing wrong with extra support and improvement for education, sport, social, financial, family, health, religion, ethnic, or whatever other reasons you can add; but was it at the expense of being allowed to simply be a child? Were you allowed to keep your dreams alive? Were you encouraged to keep your innocence intact for as long as you could – and then lose it with respect and kindness? Were you taught that it’s perfectly acceptable to be who you are; regardless of your shape, size, skin colour, abilities, gifts, skills, weaknesses and strengths? Were you given permission to have ideas outside the mainstream? Were you taught that respect is a mutual gift; that is given and received and, when necessary, can be demanded. Did you learn that gentleness does not mean weakness? Did you experience kindness, encouragement and gentleness; or ridicule, demands, or inappropriate expectations instead? Did you learn that there is a place for rules, regulations, structure, patience, compromise, negotiation, pain, vulnerability, loss and sadness – and that these can all be survived? Did you learn that hormones are yet another life skill? If not, then how did you cope, and what slightly different False You replaced the Authentic You. Let’s look at what you did to simply survive. And where you hid the Authentic Persona? Look at the very fiercely protective thinking you put in place to keep him or her safe.

I urge you to spend some time looking back, tracing back along the “track” that I mentioned last week, and find the place where the footsteps changed. That’s where you’ll find the Authentic You, the one with the dreams and the wisdom and the knowledge and the strength, which is still quietly waiting to be found.
The last part of the question I asked myself: how will you know it when you find it? It will be so simple, it will just fit you.

Word of warning: I was told this by a very wise woman – and this is written in stone, so just accept it and work with it: everyone you know will support you and encourage you to change, AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T UPSET THEM.
So, when you begin to make the changes you need to make, don’t fling yourself into this with joy and abandon and freedom, instead take small steps, do it slowly, almost imperceptibly, with kindness and respect. Follow your own “tracks” – your own Inner Tuition.

RECOMMENDED READING: “Homecoming” by John Bradshaw.